Karen Skinner
© Karen Skinner 2022
THE BUNNY EGG SCANDAL Any shopper going about their business during the three to four weeks before Easter, cannot fail to notice the assortment of chocolate eggs jostling for space on supermarket shelves. It is not surprising to see chocolate gifts, or indeed, eggs in our usual retail outlets; one symbolises the luxury of gift giving, the other symbolises new beginnings. Both have become symbolic of Easter. However, your independent reporter has received word that there are rumblings of deep suspicion in the child population. One child, who only wished to be known as Pippa, told me that her grandmother told her that the chocolate egg she was given came from the Easter Bunny, yet only the week before, Pippa’s teacher confirmed that Bunnies give birth to bunny babies and can’t lay eggs. When Pippa confronted Grandma with this information, Grandma said that the Easter Bunny was a magical creature and as such, it was perfectly possible for him to produce chocolate eggs. Another spokesperson for the child community, Georgie, 6, a tricycle rider from Hertford, told me that he knows for a fact that producing offspring, both babies and eggs, is an activity exclusive to girls. This information was independently verified by two teachers and his big brother, but we believe that the Easter Bunny is a male! Either the Easter Bunny is truly magical, or he is a fraud. So far, all attempts to contact his agent have been unsuccessful. The chickens in Mrs McGuire’s garden had much to say about the design of their product being used for a manufactured treat and even more about its purported nutritional value. We apologise for the omission of quotes, but nothing they said was fit for print. In the spirit of fair reporting, we asked to speak to Penny’s rabbits, but when we approached the hutch, none were available for comment. When we asked Penny, 5, a colourer in from Hoddesdon, for her opinion, she was happy to state that “chocolate is yum, real eggs are yuk,” – a clear indication of the reason behind the Bunny Egg success story. Reports of Easter Bunny eggs have been received from all over the Hertfordshire area. Another child, Lewis, 6, a footballer from Broxbourne, said that he received four Easter eggs last year and expects a similar number this year, but warns his friends against having high expectations. “When I opened my chocolate eggs last year,” he said, “they were small, but in a big looking box. My little sister only got one small looking egg, but when we held them side by side, they were the same size!” We urge all our readers to be wary of claims regarding the Easter Bunny’s eggs at this time of year and if any recipient of such an egg is concerned about its provenance, they should send it to this reporter, who will be delighted to investigate further.